It is a dark and stormy night. The temperature is very warm, in the upper 70s. I'm in the finished attic of a wood frame house, there is air conditioning on the main floor but not up in this makeshift bedroom space where all the walls are lined, up to the lowered ceiling, with all of my earthly possessions that I have no where else to store. I need to go through all of this junk and get rid of everything but essentials. When I next move I will start again, bring almost nothing with me.
It is not raining but the thunder rolls across the sky for over 10-70 seconds at a time, rolling on and on like a bowling ball heading towards the pins, but ending up in the gutter. It is 3-15 seconds between each roll. Every 10-17 minutes the sky lights up but it is not connected to the thunder, they are independent of each other.
I listen to Brian Weiss on Youtube conducting a past life regression and I am not doing as well as I have in the past but I am getting something. I am relaxed, I am remembering in utero that my father is a disappointing lover to my mother and neither of them are joyful that I am conceived or born, but my mother is very protective, that is form of love towards me, to protect me.
I try to push out of the womb feet first but I'm turned around head first which is confusing and then I don't feel warm or cold, I feel able to move around more, but my first experience is being spanked on my newborn bottom. This is how I'm introduced to this world. It isn't pleasant but I am present, I am aware of present time.
Then I go through a door, through light, and find myself standing in swamp water over my ankles, not as high as my knees. I recognize this as a symbol for the Tollund Bog Man and Elling Woman who were found remarkably well preserved in a swamp in Denmark (or the Lindow Man and Woman found in Britain). I realize this is telling me that I am living around the same time and place, in Scandinavia 280 BC, pre-Roman, Iron Age. I am a woman and I am with a man.
We are like modern people, civilized and we understand very well the nature of spiritual reality. I move forward to an important time in this woman's life and find myself making love to the man I was standing with in the swamp. I feel myself with him inside me, aching for him to push and press inside me with all of his emotion and desire and deep love for me. We know when we make love that I might become pregnant and that is the wish that is his and my own deepest wish behind every thrust. I want to become one with this man because we love each other so deeply. I have never been loved so purely and truely and honestly in any other lifetime.
I see in my imagination and feel him pushing inside me; simultaneously I see myself in a white bridal veil so I know that is a symbol that I am his bride and he is my husband. When we move to the end of my life, we are still making love to each other. He makes love to me fervently at the end of my life, we both know I'm dying but he wants me to know, he needs to show me how our love will continue past death, and forever into the future, and many lifetimes in the future.
We love each other almost more than we love ourselves, except his love for me is what allows him to love himself and his life so much, his love for me allows him to find the preciousness in his own life, and likewise my love for him is what allows me to love myself and find the preciousness in my own life. If it weren't for our love of each other, our lives would be dull and dreary and lonely, a life of lonely drudgery. The depth of our love for each other is what gives meaning to our own life.
I do not know who that man is; I do not recognize him in this lifetime. He might be First Love or he might be Nicest Boyfriend I've Ever Had, but if it is Nicest Boyfiend we are not at that point yet. With First Love I did have those feelings for him, but I dont' know if he reciprocated equal feelings back for me; maybe at the time or maybe now that he has deserted my twice, it felt more like my unrequited longing, I don't remember exactly at the time how I felt except I remember mourning the life I wouldn't have because I had devoted myself to him completely. I remember he couldn't decide if he liked me or not, it was always keeping me at arms length and missing him, craving closeness, it was confusing. The only thing that is clear is that it always feels as if he deserted me.
It is not raining but the thunder rolls across the sky for over 10-70 seconds at a time, rolling on and on like a bowling ball heading towards the pins, but ending up in the gutter. It is 3-15 seconds between each roll. Every 10-17 minutes the sky lights up but it is not connected to the thunder, they are independent of each other.
I listen to Brian Weiss on Youtube conducting a past life regression and I am not doing as well as I have in the past but I am getting something. I am relaxed, I am remembering in utero that my father is a disappointing lover to my mother and neither of them are joyful that I am conceived or born, but my mother is very protective, that is form of love towards me, to protect me.
I try to push out of the womb feet first but I'm turned around head first which is confusing and then I don't feel warm or cold, I feel able to move around more, but my first experience is being spanked on my newborn bottom. This is how I'm introduced to this world. It isn't pleasant but I am present, I am aware of present time.
We are like modern people, civilized and we understand very well the nature of spiritual reality. I move forward to an important time in this woman's life and find myself making love to the man I was standing with in the swamp. I feel myself with him inside me, aching for him to push and press inside me with all of his emotion and desire and deep love for me. We know when we make love that I might become pregnant and that is the wish that is his and my own deepest wish behind every thrust. I want to become one with this man because we love each other so deeply. I have never been loved so purely and truely and honestly in any other lifetime.
We love each other almost more than we love ourselves, except his love for me is what allows him to love himself and his life so much, his love for me allows him to find the preciousness in his own life, and likewise my love for him is what allows me to love myself and find the preciousness in my own life. If it weren't for our love of each other, our lives would be dull and dreary and lonely, a life of lonely drudgery. The depth of our love for each other is what gives meaning to our own life.
I do not know who that man is; I do not recognize him in this lifetime. He might be First Love or he might be Nicest Boyfriend I've Ever Had, but if it is Nicest Boyfiend we are not at that point yet. With First Love I did have those feelings for him, but I dont' know if he reciprocated equal feelings back for me; maybe at the time or maybe now that he has deserted my twice, it felt more like my unrequited longing, I don't remember exactly at the time how I felt except I remember mourning the life I wouldn't have because I had devoted myself to him completely. I remember he couldn't decide if he liked me or not, it was always keeping me at arms length and missing him, craving closeness, it was confusing. The only thing that is clear is that it always feels as if he deserted me.
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