Foot bath

I have been on vacation to warm salty sea water beaches with powdery fine white sand.  After going for walks on those beaches every morning and evening, now I'm craving the way that felt, like crazy. 

Nicest Boyfriend I've Ever Had explained that when you walk on the beach the fine sand wears away all the dry skin on your bare feet, then the sea water nourishes and heals your skin.  He was right, my feet have never felt so baby soft and perfect.

Too soon my feet are already returning to having crusty edges on the soles and I'm craving a walk on the beach to clean them up and heal them.

I did some on-line research and found a quiet-running foot bath that will both warm the water and keep it warm. Has a massage feature, without splashing too much. Is deep enough to cover my feet and stable if I rest my heels on an edge. A foot bath that will let me use essential oils or bath salts in the water.

The very best portable foot bath for home or small salon  is the professional PIBBS foot bath massager FM3830A. It costs around $100, (anything deeper or more extravagant starts at $300 and more);  I'm asking for this little luxury item for Christmas or my birthday this year.

Until then, I will make do with lukewarm water in a pretty bowl.  To make it the most luxurious foot bath I can think of, I bought a couple of packages of tumbled stones from the dollar store, and will have a layer of them on the base of the bowl.  Set the bowl in front of a comfortable chair and soak luxurioiusly.

Add ingredients to the water for the soak that you want. There are lots of recipes on-line.  Have a pumice sponge ready to slough off dead skin. A couple of hand towels for wiping down the foot and leg.  Then a good, natural moisturizer to give myself a nice foot and calf massage. 

Doesn't that sound yummy?   It does to me.   I am very excited and hope its as nice as I think it will be.

P.S.  First Love is engaged to be married, this will be his 4th or 5th marriage, so with all that experience he ought to be able to plan it rather quickly, I imagine.   I don't know much about her except that if he spurns her she will join the ranks of the many of us who have felt the painful bite of his cold and callous dismissal.  Maybe I should feel sorry for her, but I don't.  I resent the fact of her. 

Maybe I should forgive him, and  I'm trying but it's harder than I expected.  I know the pain and anger primarily hurts me, and then all those who love me, but I haven't been able to lay it to rest yet.  

 I try to take Joel Osteen's advice and imagine his face with the rubber stamp marked "Paid in Full".  I do that repeatedly, and try to soften my heart to forgiving him, but it doesn't feel like forgiveness is what I need.  It feels more like I need to find a sense of peace that all of this has happened for the best.  That his rejection was a kindness.  I wish I could believe that.

I was able to believe that with my ex-husband because he put me through so much after his first betrayal.  If he'd left me at that point, I might still be mourning him to this day, but I don't because he poured more and more torture on top of that first betrayal.  I have to try to face that First Love has already abandoned me twice, that's enough of a betrayal,  if he had stuck around instead he likely would have found a way to make me regret it.

Refreshments

Joel Osteen says "The enemy is called the accuser.  He'd love for you to go through life feeling damaged.  Instead, take off that label and declare yourself as blessed." 

It's spring and time for spring cleaning! It's time to slough off the old, heavy,  let go of the no longer useful.  Lighten up, freshen up, cleanse.

Together

I must let go of the past by looking with optimism towards the future.

I like Joel Osteen the encouraging tv evangelist.  I heard or read him say that people know what they are doing wrong; they come to church to be encouraged that they can change.  And that's why he is so encouraging like the motivational speakers who rally people to sell Amway products, just like the "Ask and It is Given" manifestation couple did to make their first fortune, before "The Secret."

So I want that motivational encouragement from Joel Osteen.  Why?  Because the only way I can think of letting go of the pain of the past is to consciously work on letting go of that pain by simultaneously changing behaviours that are filled with great love.  Treat myself the way I think my nice boyfriend should treat me.  Treat myself better.  Treat myself even better than the way I treat those I love.  To learn how to be loving again.  Loving to myself and loving to others.

In airplanes the stewards remind you that in the case of emergency put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others.  That's because in the case of an emergency hypoxia could set in in a matter of seconds, death within seconds.  There is no way to help anyone else if you are unconscious.  So help yourself first in order to help others.  That's the rule in an emergency situation.

I tended to be grumpy and impatient the past 2 years.  I need to lighten up and laugh more.  I need to be more pleasant with the people I love.  I need to lighten up my heart.

I also needed to look at the reality of eating disorders.  Bringing all that information together led me to see a twist on the "Fat is a Feminist Issue" (published 1978) class issue argument; it seems to me that nowdays fat has become a capitalist issue, a product of our current American consumer society where the few controlling mega-corportations are happy to get us all to eat as much as possible, and to eschew the image of a healthier slim figure.

Physically it is healthier to eat less, even with periods of partial starvation, as long as your weight stays in the normal MBI range.  Once you get down to underweight then it's almost as dangerous as being obese.  It is estimated that less than 1% up to 8-9% of Americans are underweight with a BMI up to 18.5%.  The truth remains that 35-36% of Americans are obese with a BMI greater than 30.  Considering those statistics do not include the 31% of Amrericans are overweight with a BMI of 25-30, leaving less than 1/3, a mere 25% of Americans are in the normal range BMI of 18.5-25,  to my way of thinking overeating is a much bigger problem than the eating disorders that are defined as eating behaviours that exclude overweight and obesity.