It turns out that I know some women who go to the church I was brought up in. I stopped going to that church when I was in grade school but some of my family still attend. I also know one person who attended my church, but who changed religion when she married, and now divorced she is searching for a new church; she would not go back to our childhood church either.
What I'm noticing with the women who do attend, is that 1. they prosthelytize, 2. they are weirdly dedicated to their church, to the point where it takes precedence over their family of parents and siblings. In fact the church has come between them and their family of parents and siblings in different ways. The church emphasizes how people should structure their allegiances, putting god (ie. the church) as the central focus of the home, with men as head of the household, and women should seperate themselves from the family they grew up in to dedicate and find their happiness with their husband and children.
All the women who attend, I've observed that their behavior is similar to how I would describe the sexual game of Male Dominant & female submissive, which is sort of a subcategory of the power division in BDSM. For years I've noticed how the women I know seem titillated and thrilled by being submissive to their husbands in everyday terms, from small things such as letting their husband choose whether they go out to dinner, and where they go out to dinner, to larger things like letting their husband decide to move away from their family of parents and siblings. This also means that these women take their husbands sides in conflicts between their parents and siblings.
It seems like a simple-minded, and to those women it is perhaps sexually gratifying, way to live your life but at a terrible cost of alienating kin, thus putting those women in the situation of having more need to, more likely to, cleave closely to the church for social support.
I don't like it. I think its wrong. It clarifies why I never liked that church, but further more, maybe it clarifies what I did wrong when I was married. I can't go into it anymore than this, but I needed to write this down so I can think about it more.
I think if a woman wants to take charge of her sexuality by consciously choosing to be an Anastasia to her Mr Grey that's one thing, but to do so under the guise of following the church is an ugly distortion of religion as a way of abusively controlling people.
What I'm noticing with the women who do attend, is that 1. they prosthelytize, 2. they are weirdly dedicated to their church, to the point where it takes precedence over their family of parents and siblings. In fact the church has come between them and their family of parents and siblings in different ways. The church emphasizes how people should structure their allegiances, putting god (ie. the church) as the central focus of the home, with men as head of the household, and women should seperate themselves from the family they grew up in to dedicate and find their happiness with their husband and children.
It seems like a simple-minded, and to those women it is perhaps sexually gratifying, way to live your life but at a terrible cost of alienating kin, thus putting those women in the situation of having more need to, more likely to, cleave closely to the church for social support.
I don't like it. I think its wrong. It clarifies why I never liked that church, but further more, maybe it clarifies what I did wrong when I was married. I can't go into it anymore than this, but I needed to write this down so I can think about it more.
I think if a woman wants to take charge of her sexuality by consciously choosing to be an Anastasia to her Mr Grey that's one thing, but to do so under the guise of following the church is an ugly distortion of religion as a way of abusively controlling people.
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