Didn't make a 25th smoothie. Sort of, half broke the challenge. Did drink the rest of the 24th smoothie, so did have a smoothie, just didn't make a new one.
Have been down lately. Really down. Couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Kept asking why don't I have the motivation to take better care of myself?
Figured it out today. I know the reason is because since the divorce I don't make enough money to support myself. When I was younger and made this much money it was ok because everything was less expensive, but everything is 2-3x more expensive now, and I simply don't make enough money.
It's depressing, and makes me feel very stupid. Just read an article titled "Why so many PhDs are on food stamps".
But at least, finally, I understand what is bugging me. Why I felt so down. Maybe I can start taking better care of myself now, now that I can see why I was so disappointed with the decisions I've made in my life, why I don't like myself enough to want to take care of myself, as if I'm punishing myself for not being as good as I wish I was. It was a self-destructive little mental/emotional train of thought.
Have been down lately. Really down. Couldn't figure out why for the longest time. Kept asking why don't I have the motivation to take better care of myself?
Figured it out today. I know the reason is because since the divorce I don't make enough money to support myself. When I was younger and made this much money it was ok because everything was less expensive, but everything is 2-3x more expensive now, and I simply don't make enough money.
It's depressing, and makes me feel very stupid. Just read an article titled "Why so many PhDs are on food stamps".
But at least, finally, I understand what is bugging me. Why I felt so down. Maybe I can start taking better care of myself now, now that I can see why I was so disappointed with the decisions I've made in my life, why I don't like myself enough to want to take care of myself, as if I'm punishing myself for not being as good as I wish I was. It was a self-destructive little mental/emotional train of thought.

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