It's almost the end of February and I have not weighed myself all month, because I'm afraid the scale will show a weight gain rather than a weight loss.
I really want to have the motivation to maintain consistent weight loss but apparently I did't.
It was the prospect of being with First Love that gave me the motivation to lose weight and when I lost him a second time I have been struggling with the will to become and stay slim. That really bugs me. Right now I have the nicest boyfriend I've ever had and I do want to be slim to enjoy time with him, but the spectre of First Love lost, I don't know, its as if when he rejected me, I didn't love myself too?
I don't know what is wrong. If I see a therapist about this I wonder if that would uncover the source of the trouble?
I'm sorry current nicest boyfriend I've ever had, you are innocent and sweet and very, very kind. You deserve a slim girlfriend who wants to be free and enjoy herself with you.
I'm sorry to myself for not loving myself enough to take very good care of myself. For not letting go of pain enough to hold closely to taking good loving care of myself.
A book I read 2 days ago said that sometimes people hold tight to pain in the mistaken belief that will keep the source of that pain closer to them. If that is the case then, maybe people hold tight to weight gain in the mistaken belief that will keep lost love closer. If that is the case, how do I let go of pain, how do I learn to embrace self love again?
I really want to have the motivation to maintain consistent weight loss but apparently I did't.
It was the prospect of being with First Love that gave me the motivation to lose weight and when I lost him a second time I have been struggling with the will to become and stay slim. That really bugs me. Right now I have the nicest boyfriend I've ever had and I do want to be slim to enjoy time with him, but the spectre of First Love lost, I don't know, its as if when he rejected me, I didn't love myself too?
I don't know what is wrong. If I see a therapist about this I wonder if that would uncover the source of the trouble?
I'm sorry current nicest boyfriend I've ever had, you are innocent and sweet and very, very kind. You deserve a slim girlfriend who wants to be free and enjoy herself with you.
I'm sorry to myself for not loving myself enough to take very good care of myself. For not letting go of pain enough to hold closely to taking good loving care of myself.
A book I read 2 days ago said that sometimes people hold tight to pain in the mistaken belief that will keep the source of that pain closer to them. If that is the case then, maybe people hold tight to weight gain in the mistaken belief that will keep lost love closer. If that is the case, how do I let go of pain, how do I learn to embrace self love again?
Hug a stone?
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