In the last post where I talk about how I stopped doing good things, I didn't mention what those things were because I was so upset about the weight gain, and distracted by a toothache that caused constant low level pain and fevers. I was gaining 2 lbs a day so I stopped weighing myself.
This past week I went to the dentist so the toothache and fevers have passed. I got on the scale and weigh 191. That is sad to have gained so much weight but its 2 lbs less than the day I stopped weighing myself, so it feels like a disaster that has been averted.
The good things I'd been doing were to ask myself if I loved myself before choosing something to eat and then choose food that reflected how I loved myself. Food that was good for me, that I would give to someone I loved and cared for. I'd forgotten to pay attention and show myself love by taking good care of myself.
When I was married, and a small part of why I'm getting a divorce, is because my husband is demanding of my attention and my time to a degree that I never learned how to handle well. I've become so used to being his satellite that I didn't know how to care for myself, and when I forgot how to take care of myself then I was quickly depleted and felt resentful of him.
So what I need to do is first establish really good habits of taking care of myself. Really focus at least 90% of my attention to self care. Its vital for losing weight. Its vital for being the best I can be for others too. If I ever become involved with anyone else I really need to learn how to continue taking care of myself first. The self care has to establish my boundaries of what I will and will not do for someone else. I have to learn to take care of myself first and then others second. Thats very important.
Parents of new babies don't have that luxury they have to learn how to care for the child while taking care of themselves. That balance has to be carefully monitored so that the parent doesn't get depleted. Its always a struggle.
So I will do a big weekend colon cleanse to try and get a jump start on weight loss. But I decided I really am moving too slowly with weight loss too. I really do want to push it along a little bit more, so I'm going to create new goals for myself.
Here are my new goals:
Start each day with a glass of water.
Meditate 11 minutes a day Sunday through Friday.
Get on a bike or my elliptical, do yoga or abdominal work for 11 minutes, 3 days a week.
Take my dog on a walk every day, preferably first thing in the morning before it gets hot.
Oh and aim for 1000 - 1200 calories a day, rather than 1200 - 1500 calories a day. Be satisfied with smaller meals.
* The 11 minutes are the minimum, I may definately do more.
This past week I went to the dentist so the toothache and fevers have passed. I got on the scale and weigh 191. That is sad to have gained so much weight but its 2 lbs less than the day I stopped weighing myself, so it feels like a disaster that has been averted.
When I was married, and a small part of why I'm getting a divorce, is because my husband is demanding of my attention and my time to a degree that I never learned how to handle well. I've become so used to being his satellite that I didn't know how to care for myself, and when I forgot how to take care of myself then I was quickly depleted and felt resentful of him.
So what I need to do is first establish really good habits of taking care of myself. Really focus at least 90% of my attention to self care. Its vital for losing weight. Its vital for being the best I can be for others too. If I ever become involved with anyone else I really need to learn how to continue taking care of myself first. The self care has to establish my boundaries of what I will and will not do for someone else. I have to learn to take care of myself first and then others second. Thats very important.
Parents of new babies don't have that luxury they have to learn how to care for the child while taking care of themselves. That balance has to be carefully monitored so that the parent doesn't get depleted. Its always a struggle.
So I will do a big weekend colon cleanse to try and get a jump start on weight loss. But I decided I really am moving too slowly with weight loss too. I really do want to push it along a little bit more, so I'm going to create new goals for myself.
Here are my new goals:
Start each day with a glass of water.
Meditate 11 minutes a day Sunday through Friday.
Get on a bike or my elliptical, do yoga or abdominal work for 11 minutes, 3 days a week.
Take my dog on a walk every day, preferably first thing in the morning before it gets hot.
Oh and aim for 1000 - 1200 calories a day, rather than 1200 - 1500 calories a day. Be satisfied with smaller meals.
* The 11 minutes are the minimum, I may definately do more.
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