Well my last post was in October and I weighed 143.5, today is February 2013 and on my homescale I weigh 163.5. Twenty pounds gained. I've had a terrible flu and 2 root canals. There are less than 4 months of massage school left. I'm tired. I'm disappointed in my weight gain and how size small clothes are so tight or no longer fit.
Last semester October - January I dated quite a lot, at least 8 people. Now I'm kind of going steady with someone who lives 525 miles (8-9 hours drive) away and we have been on 3 dates. I like him and respect him but its hard to date someone not in person. So I am continuing to meet 1 or maybe 2 men in person also, although that doesn't feel right; so I'm feeling very uneasy about my place in the world.
About the time I stopped updating this blog I also stopped praying to the moon. I still miss the man who was my first love like crazy. That is the moment to moment grief I'm most trying to get through. Not over, but through, to just move forward, knowing that love is there and that ache is there but just move through onward and forward towards the hope that I will be able to love again.
The biggest deal for gaining weight is how I'm just so unhappy. I'm an emotional eater, and all this weight gain tells me I'm unhappy. I just don't know how to turn the feel unhappy but eat the right foods anyway behavior on. That's the struggle.
So we'll see, coming back to this blog will help I hope.
I love myself
I think I'm grand
I go to the movies and hold my hand
I put my arm around my waist and when I get fresh
I slap my face.
Last semester October - January I dated quite a lot, at least 8 people. Now I'm kind of going steady with someone who lives 525 miles (8-9 hours drive) away and we have been on 3 dates. I like him and respect him but its hard to date someone not in person. So I am continuing to meet 1 or maybe 2 men in person also, although that doesn't feel right; so I'm feeling very uneasy about my place in the world.
About the time I stopped updating this blog I also stopped praying to the moon. I still miss the man who was my first love like crazy. That is the moment to moment grief I'm most trying to get through. Not over, but through, to just move forward, knowing that love is there and that ache is there but just move through onward and forward towards the hope that I will be able to love again.
The biggest deal for gaining weight is how I'm just so unhappy. I'm an emotional eater, and all this weight gain tells me I'm unhappy. I just don't know how to turn the feel unhappy but eat the right foods anyway behavior on. That's the struggle.
So we'll see, coming back to this blog will help I hope.
I love myself
I think I'm grand
I go to the movies and hold my hand
I put my arm around my waist and when I get fresh
I slap my face.
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